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Clearing it out: a meditation

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Our son visits on Father’s Day, pokes around in the refrigerator, and pulls out a bottle of BBQ sauce with an expiration date of 2002. He holds the bottle up in front of me and points to the offending date.“Seriously, Mom?

Time to clear out the fridge.

In yoga class the teacher invites us to clear all thoughts of the day’s activities from our heads. I tick through my “to do” list and wish for a “Clear All” button to press. I visualize a screen full of “to dos” disappearing. Then the screen in my mind’s eye refreshes with the next fity items on the list.

Time to clear out of town and go on vacation?

I’d like to tell you a story of a time when I cleared out the clutter and lovely whitespace appeared, but like an ocean tide, chaos goes out and comes back in again. For one small moment, sun glistens on empty sand and catches the light of bubbles that mark the spot where tiny sea creatures burrow. Then the sea rushes back.

For one small moment my refrigerator is clean and I can see my choices; my mind is free and I can focus on my body; the beach is quiet and my soul is at rest.

Sydney Avey GROVELAND, CA

Reprinted from Ruminate Magazine Issue 32 Summer 2014

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Getting Through

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medium_16036685691I use getting through as a life strategy. I get through one thing, and then another, and then another. Why do we speak of life events as something we need to get through?

I got through the holidays. More to the point, I got to spend precious time with my family. I felt like I was in a movie when I met my friend Sherill on a blustery day in a trendy bistro near Pike’s Market in Seattle; spirits were high; our conversation was magic; it was exciting to be on the streets instead of in the kitchen.

I tend to measure life as the next event I have to get through, instead of the next moment of anticipated joy. I think that’s because events always harbor unknowns. Will the plane arrive on time, the weather cooperate, our luggage make it to the turnstile? Will we all hold it together or will someone get put out, or get their feelings hurt? (We did quite well on all these fronts.)

What are the stresses that make us view a date marked on our calendar as a grit-your-teeth-and-go moment?

Time crunch

Events often require planning and preparation. That takes time away from our normal routine in which we have likely squeezed too many activities already. Something won’t get done. Something will fall through the cracks and come back to haunt us.

Fear of the known

I am driving to San Francisco this weekend to attend Poet’s & Writer’s Live. I hate to drive on the hills in the City by the Bay! Will my car get stuck in a vertical posture at the crest of a hill? Will I roll back and hit the car behind me before I can stomp the accelerator hard enough to move forward?

Fear of the unknown

The event is being held at the Brava Center. Never been there. Will I find parking? I’m going alone. Will I find people to hang out with? I’m planning to stay with my friend Charlene. Will that work out okay?

It’s a constant push to keep my comfort zone from shrinking. To that end, my New Year’s Resolutions present themselves.

I accept the challenge to keep my comfort zone clutter free to make room for what I truly care about. Far less distracting myself with social media. All those prompts to “check this out; read this; try that; sign up today…? Delete, delete, delete.

No! to calls for action that don’t align with my purpose. It’s time to face the truth. Literary fiction is what I write. There isn’t much market for it so far as I can tell. It isn’t lucrative, unless you get lucky. I’m in it for love, not money. I have to accept that if I don’t treat my writing as a business and churn out what’s popular, I will not be considered a serious writer.

Yes! to opportunities to spend face time with family, friends and neighbors, my community of writers, and readers of all persuasions. Nothing expands the borders of your comfort zone like making room for people.

Is your comfort zone shrinking or expanding? I ask this question with no judgement. There are seasons of life in which both are appropriate. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

photo credit: deeplifequotes via photopin cc

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May I have a word?

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A trendy bar in San Francisco's Mission District makes a space for art

A trendy bar in San Francisco’s Mission District makes a space for art

 

Sis asked me about my word for 2015. Each year we choose a word to focus on, one that embodies a concept we wish to understand on a deeper level. This year she is focusing on the goodness of God. My word is beauty.

We do a word study to define the term, and we read Scripture and books on our chosen topic to expand our understanding, This year, we will spend a year looking for goodness and beauty in the ugly and mundane.

I suspect she has chosen goodness because she is marginally involved in a situation that is not good. How did my pick happen? Through a confluence of two unrelated events, I chose to focus on beauty this year.

Beauty and the Arts

The first event: Describing her creative process at a recent Poets & Writers Live event, an artist suggested that when we stop pursuing perfection and begin to explore what is ugly, that is the place where art begins. I was mulling that over when I moved to the next chapter in my morning read, True Paradox: How Christianity Makes Sense of Our Complex World, by David Skeel. The chapter title was “Beauty and the Arts.”

The author maintains that a Christian’s sense of beauty helps us see the true nature of the universe, “a glimpse that is both temporary and real, and which suggests that the world is not as it should be. To idealize beauty is to deny a central part of our experience, the author contends. So in that sense the artist is right.

Art that is true to the reality we experience will portray the dynamic tension between what we long for and what we suffer. I don’t think she means to say that art begins with ugliness, but that it doesn’t happen without exploration of corruption. No wonder art is so provocative!

Beauty in the sacred spaces

The panel of artists also discussed the concept of leaving space in a work of art to make room for contemplation or conversation. This was on my mind as I was planning for a totally unrelated second event.

I’m helping a friend deal with clutter. I needed a strategy. A friend suggested I read Psalm 31. As is typical, David is feeling besieged. He says, “You have not given me into the hands of the enemy but have set my feet in spacious places.” And that is where it all came together. If I can help my friend create space, the result will be beautiful.

Beauty appears in sacred spaces. Art acknowledges the tension between our longing for beauty and the reality of life in an imperfect world. Moments of beauty connect us with God, in appreciation, contemplation or conversation.

Is there a word you would like to adopt this year?

I have more to say about what I heard at Poets & Writers Live in my January newsletter. If you are interested and aren’t a subscriber, sign up in the box at the top right of this blog.

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The Family Tree

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family treeCharting a family tree provides a record for future generations, but sketching the leafy branches in story form is far more revealing. At first glance, your tree may appear to be a uniform sample of its species, but move your gaze though its branches and you will likely find broken limbs and odd grafts.

Unless it is a well researched biography (non-fiction), a family saga is an intriguing mix of fact and fiction. To tell a good story, historical fiction writers have to make up what they don’t know.

Careful research can raise facts that help shape the story so that what it lacks in accuracy is compensated by truth. 

What’s in a name?

I am writing about the role black sheep play in a family. The book is based on the adventures of my great grandmother Nellie Belle Scott. Family legend has it that she left her husband and children for a career as the first female court reporter in the Pacific Northwest. At a time in history when women stayed married and stayed in the kitchen, she ran around the circuit providing stenographic services in makeshift courtrooms and amusing conversation to judges and attorneys.

Viewing Nellie through the eyes of my mother and grandmother painted a negative picture. But in researching her girlhood, I stumbled upon an interesting fact. Her younger sister Jessie named her daughter Nellie. Obviously there’s another side to my great grandmother. My job as a novelist is to discover what in Nellie’s character inspired such high regard from those who knew her growing up.

Namesakes and monikers

In one afternoon I traced my family history straight back to Plymouth Colony. I saw how some names were passed down through generations: Francis Carter, son Frank, great granddaughter Frances, who died in infancy. If you are looking to name a baby or a fictional character, check your family tree.

My favorite moniker goes way back in history. I could write a book about a woman named Submit Talman, a misnomer I’m thinking. Pair the Biblical character trait of her first name with the phonetic spelling of her last name — tall man — and you have enough tension and conflict for a lively plot line.

Have a litter of kittens or puppies that need names? Nineteenth century people had large families. My maternal great grandfather was one of ten children. Choice names from that list? Zenas, Enos, and Hiram, fit for a bevy of bulldogs.

Is there an intriguing name in your family tree?
photo credit: Snapped strength via photopin (license)

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On the road again

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LA Local Authors copy

When we returned from Arizona to Pine Mountain Lake I promised I would stay put for at least six months, but in May I’m on the road again (not for long).  Judith Gregg, head librarian at the Los Altos Library, did this lovely flier to advertise a local author event. I’m on the program.

Can I say I’m local even though I no longer have an address in the area?  If home is where the heart is, I would say that my grandmother’s house in Los Altos was my emotional hub. My love of orchards, oceans, and pink peppermint ice cream with crunchy green candies emanates from my growing up years in Santa Clara Valley.

What was so special about that house that it features in both my books? I have no pictures to post. The tiny summer cottage that doubled as a neighborhood ballet studio was razed in the Seventies. That old house was dwarfed by a California pepper tree in the front, a messy olive tree in the back, and a Mission fig tree to the side. You could swing from the olive tree, climb the pepper tree, and gorge yourself sick on the figs. (Like apricots, figs must be freshly picked, warmed by the sun, and oozing juice to be fully appreciated.) The trees are gone, I think. Today, a two story house commands most of the lot.

It will be fun to compare memories of the orchards with Robin Chapman and hear from Marian Aiken about the many special needs boys she raised. Also, I will be reading selections from my books. If you are in the area, please stop in. We’d love to see you.

 

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Got the Grumbles?

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IMG_0424Nothing gives me the grumbles like the feeling that my time is not my own. The Wall Street Journal reviewed a book that hit a nerve. The World Beyond Your Head: On becoming an Individual in an Age of Distraction by Matthew B. Crawford. It’s about the in-your-face attention grabbers that rob you of your time and your peace of mind.

I have made some decisions that help me feel a little less like a ping pong ball in someone else’s game.

Things I never do

  • Fill out customer satisfaction surveys. You will know if I am satisfied if I return. I don’t get paid to evaluate you. That’s what your manager gets paid to do.
  • Use rewards cards. Reward me for shopping by providing me with good products and excellent customer service.The last thing I need is one more card to manage. My time keeping up with multiple cards and special offers is more valuable that the few cents I might save.
    Sign petitions. This is not the way I want to engage on an issue.
  • Click on cute, shocking, or “you’ll never guess what happened next” teasers. Unless it is involves a cat and I am in particular need of a laugh, I don’t click on bait.
  • Open any mail-order catalogues or most of my snail mail. Into the garbage. Unopened. I hate that I have to add to the landfill this way, but I hate even more reading ad copy or comparing myself to the Chico’s fashion model.

No is my favorite word

Sometimes I feel like a two-year-old. No is my favorite word. But the beauty of being an adult instead of a two-year-old? Adults who know their own minds can’t be tempted, bribed or guilted into responding (unless it is after 4 pm and your blood sugar level has dropped).

I like the King James Version of Ephesians 5:15,16:

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Are the days evil? In the sense that behavior that tempts, bribes or guilts us into doing things that are not the best use of our time, perhaps. How much time could you recover if you systematically dealt with annoyance? What could you do with that time?

Tell me, what do you say No to? (Those who say No to commenting on blogs need not respond. For those who find value in being part of the discussion, I’d really like to hear your suggestions!)

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A summer writers conference special

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On sale $0.99 August 10 - 17

On sale $0.99 August 10 – 17

What camp is to kids, a summer writers conference is to a writer. My daughter and I have polished our manuscripts and will meet up in Portland to attend the Oregon Christian Writers Conference.

A writers conference is a mix of relationship building, studying the craft, and learning art of marketing. The experience can motivate you to take your work to the next level, or, despite the best intentions of presenters, it can discourage you.

Like a kid at camp, you may enjoy every minute, from early morning devotions to late Nite Owl sessions. Or you may feel like calling the airlines to see if you can exchange your ticket for an earlier flight home. It depends on how well prepared you are and what expectations you bring with you. These are mine:

  •  A short list of precise questions I want to ask and appointments with people who may have the answers
  • A practiced pitch and a seat in a seminar that will help me improve my pitch
  • An expectation that I will be annoyed (but smiling) when I hear things like, “blog your way to success in 30 days,” or “secrets best selling authors know.” Emotionally this affects me the same way as tabloid headlines like “How to Lose your Belly Fat.” If it were that easy, we would all be cashing big royalty checks and shopping for size 2 clothing.
  • A plan for dealing with the downers that includes prayer, focus, and perhaps slipping away for a glass of wine in a lovely courtyard, or a walk by the river.

Conference Special

I will have books to sell at the conference, and for you Kindle readers, I’m dropping the price of  my first book, The Sheep Walker’s Daughter, to  $0.99 for the duration of the conference, beginning Monday, August 10.

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Shocking! Donald Trump on a Broca Binge

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jesterThinking about shocking Broca, a marketing ploy to break through the brain function that filters out the predictable and boring, brings to mind Donald Trump.The Donald trumps everyone in shocking Broca. He is building a presidential campaign on shocking his way into the national conscious with outrageous statements. Some of us wince. We grimace and double over in pain. But we all pay attention and do exactly what he wants us to do. We think more deeply about the issues. We participate in a national dialog that forces all the other candidates to articulate their position on the issues Trump feels are important.

Buffoonery is an effective technique. In days of old, every court had its jester. On the surface the jester was an entertaining clown, but don’t be fooled. A physically or verbally dextrous actor on a stage, a jester sometimes offers criticism and advice in the guise of performing silly antics. Of course there are risks. Historically, some jesters went too far and lost their heads.

Writers shocking Broca

As a writer, I am told I must shock broca with every blog, twitter, and Facebook post. A daunting challenge, the call to arm myself with pith and wit and deliver zingers that rip through readers’ filters to pierce their hearts. To shock broca employing SEO searchable key words that appear in the headline and first sentence is even more difficult. But if you care enough about connecting with people, you try. And if you are trying to communicate from a place of authenticity, the challenge is even greater.

Which leads me to wonder, is that why Jesus chose to communicate God’s love by hanging on a cross?

photo credit: [Ex libris Majlath Antal] via photopin (license)

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Wisdom Bubbles

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4289518230_8e0f99895cThe words of a man’s mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook. Proverbs 18:4.

We can drown in our words, but if we wait at the edge of what troubles or intrigues us, wisdom bubbles up.

What a delightful image.

Some bubbleology

LIKE CREAM RISING to the top, wisdom floats to the surface and spreads out into a delicious topping. Skim the cream. Taste and see if it is good. Fold it back into your brew to sweeten your experience.

WHEN TWO BUBBLES MEET, they merge. Male beta fish blow bubbles and pull them together to form bubble nests that will attract egg-laden females. If we pull our bubbles of wisdom together, might we generate thoughts that will one day produce new ideas? Share your wisdom.

AIR ESCAPES AS WATER WARMS, forming a bubble. When we warm to a new idea and act on it, might wisdom rise in our being? (What does that warming process look like? Stillness. Percolation. Movement.) Act on your ideas.

A virtuous circle

It’s a virtuous circle, says Robert Wright in a 2012 Atlantic Journal article on the relationship between wisdom and happiness. Wisdom leads to well-being, and well-being paves the way for wisdom–and, in particular, for wise action, not just a capacity for wise reasoning.

Like the air that forms dancing bubbles in a brook, God’s thoughts produce wisdom–sound action based on good judgement.

Be that fountain of wisdom that God breathes into.

Bubble like a brook.

Is there a wise action you can take today?

photo credit: Bubble DOF via photopin (license)

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Writers approach the well

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2562738300_00a604fcda

During conference season, we writers approach the well of inspiration to draw ideas and encouragement. Sometimes we drag home with what feels like bricks in our roller bags, discouraging loads of “you have to” and “you can’t.” Other times we float home, buoyed by refreshing new approaches to the art, craft or marketing of writing. We’ve been pleasantly reminded about why we are willing to sing the blues–the highly emotional call and response of writing scratches a creative itch.

I drew much inspiration from this year’s Tuolumne Writers Retreat.

Storyteller Cynthia Restivo involved us physically with our work. In preparation for performing a story, I walked around the 49er church courtyard reading a section out loud, kicking an empty box every time I uttered a word that wanted emphasis. Magically, that practice pepped up my presentation.

Author and educator Dimitri Keriotis helped us analyze interiority in writing samples and then add details to our own writing that satisfy a reader’s desire to connect more intimately with our characters.

We played with metaphors with performance poet Denella Kimura and experienced new ways of presenting a work of literary art with Joy Willow, who recited her poetry to the wails of a Harmonium and the resonant beat of an African thumb drum. She also sang some of her poems. Try that!

Have the courage of your connections

It takes courage to put yourself out there, to lean into the microphone instead of away from it, to press hard into the consonants, emote on the vowels, and let your hands fly around in the air to illustrate a point. Here’s a secret. Courage builds when you tap into the well of your connections.

My friend Mary Anthony published a book about her experience as a flower child during the Sixties. She and I commiserated on how hard it is to sell our books. Recently, she and her husband registered their home on Airbnb. Foreign tourists flocked to their door. In a warm and hospitable atmosphere, the conversation turns naturally to Mary’s colorful experiences in Berkeley and Big Sur. Very few guests leave without asking if they can purchase copy of her book.

My friend Marie Sontag taught middle school. Now she publishes YA historical fiction as fast as she can research and write adventures that enthrall sixth graders, who have to read period history anyway. The bonus? She gets invited into school libraries and classrooms to make history come alive for a rapt audience.

Both these writers are doing what comes naturally to them. Instead of merely promoting their books, they are telling their stories with zest and joy.

What are the wells you draw from for inspiration? Where might your courage take you?

photo credit: Water in a dry place via photopin (license)

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The Writing Roller Coaster

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The Great Wheel, Seattle

The Great Wheel, Seattle

My friend Von sent me a copy of the Afterword to Terri Blackstock‘s book Double Minds that describes the roller coaster writing life. The timing was good. I was down about last week’s social media and sales reports. Low engagement on Facebook. No sales on Amazon. Yesterday I experienced mild elation when I learned I’d been accepted into the Christian Authors Network, but that dissipated quickly when I crested the peak of saw the quick drop into marketing tasks ahead. Euphoria is reserved for the high points; coveted awards, lucrative book contracts; five star reviews that breed like fleas in tall grass.

More than the ups and downs of the writers life, a roller coaster describes the quality of the experience. Once you strap yourself in for the ride, it’s a long, uphill, chest-tightening ascent. Your former life drops away. At some point the pace picks up and you are whizzing around the learning curve. More climb. More curve. Then, you reach a heart-stopping peak, the thrilling moment when you know your mettle is about to be tested. You open your eyes, throw your hands in the air, and scream your way to the finish. (Or you close your eyes, bury your face in your hands, and fixate on whether your guts have actually relocated elsewhere during the free fall.)

Roller Coasters vs Ferris Wheels

Terri says she loves the roller coaster. I say, it takes all kinds. There are other rides in the carnival. I like the Ferris wheel. It has its ups and downs. What it lacks in thrill sensation, it makes up for in awe-inspiring views. It’s a ride better suited to literary fiction–a slow build, time to savor the setting, the sensation of having left the earth for another world.

A roller coaster is a marvel of engineering. Lines are long for a short ride. Riders no sooner get off than they want to get back in line to ride again. Compare that to a genre writers life. To generate income you must replicate a thrill a minute, plus keep a complex structure functioning.

On the other hand, a Ferris wheel can be iconic, strategically placed to draw the eye to a beautiful landscape (the Great Wheel in Seattle), provide an unobstructed view of the bustle below (the London Eye), or preserve history (the classic tribute to an era at Navy Pier, Chicago). How does this work as a metaphor for the writers life? It’s a challenge to write something unique for a smaller audience.

As a writer of literary fiction, I don’t think you come up to speed as fast, or produce as much, or profit as greatly (if at all). The emotional ups and downs are probably less agony and ecstasy and more a continuum between discouragement and hope.

Either way, it’s somehow worth the trip to the carnival or we wouldn’t do it.

If you compare your life to a carnival ride, which attraction suits you best?

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Step Up Your Game

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conductorWhen is it time to step up your game? I’ve been in the writing game for about four years now. I’m getting sour on on clicking links and signing up for seminars that tell me what I already know. That’s my bad.

There was a time in my writing when I desperately needed to know Ten Errors Writers Make, Responding to Rejection, and Format Your Novel for Submission. Just because I’m familiar with the basics doesn’t mean I’ve mastered them, but spending time reading repackaged tips won’t help me step up my game. I have to open my manuscript, plod through my revisions on a disciplined schedule, and put into practice what I already know.

Are there times when you’ve paid for a conference or an online seminar and come away dry? You were hoping for an aha you didn’t get? Maybe you chose a familiar topic hoping to learn something new and it was the same old. “I tried that and it didn’t work,” you say.

Stop doing/paying for what isn’t working for you! 

Sometimes a new strategy will energize you and take you places you never expected to go. In addition to finding my voice in fiction, I work to improve my singing voice. A wise worship leader once told me, if you back off the microphone because you are afraid of what your voice will sound like, you are doing exactly the the wrong thing. When your back off, he said, your voice distorts. Lean in closer and you will sound better. My choice was to stay in my comfort zone and sing out of range of the microphone until I felt more confident, or to take a chance that he might be right.

Keep in mind, all he said was that I would sound better. A microphone won’t make me an amazing singer, but proper use of a microphone has helped me sound better. Most of the time.

I didn’t expect to do any choral singing this fall in Arizona, but a friend urged me to join the choir at Christ Presbyterian Church in Goodyear. The opportunity to sing in a choir led by professor, 18th century music expert, conductor, and author David Wilson was too good to pass up.

At the first Wednesday night rehearsal, it was apparent this would be a stretch. The vocal warmup alone was instructional and challenging. He went on to pull the best we could give out of us as we sprinted through songs, hymns and anthems. On Sunday morning, he dropped a descant on the sopranos he had written for us following the week night rehearsal.

At rehearsal, he coached us. “Now that’s singing,” he said when we finally got it. “Do you hear that? Before, you were just talking on pitch.”

And, “The meaning is in the consonants. The emotion is in the vowels.” That’s the same thing storyteller Cynthia Restivo taught a small group of us last month at a writer’s retreat. Singing will help me step up my game in literary readings, and vice versa. This is working for me!

Lean in closer to what you are passionate about

My singing improves when I place myself under the authority of the choir director and fixate on his every movement. My writing improves when I drop the checklist and sidle up to my characters, trusting what I’ve already learned to work for me. When you lean in close, self-forgetfulness takes you to places you never thought you’d get to.

It’s an exercise in faith.

Do you have a passion that beckons you to move closer?

photo credit: Practice. Practice. Practice. via photopin (license)

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Retrench and Redeem: a counterculture exercise

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Retrench and Redeem

Kilaue Point National Wildlife Refuge, Kauai

Retrench and redeem are my watchwords for 2016. In the past I’ve made resolutions to accomplish change, fashioned mantras to guide my daily spiritual practice, but 2016 wants watchfulness.

Because I want my life and my writing to make a difference, my actions to be redemptive, this year’s challenge is to actively counter culture, to take action to mitigate whatever opposes my purpose.

Having just spent a week sitting on the beaches of Kauai, snorkeling at her reefs, and racing past the rugged cliffs of Na Pali on a catamaran, my metaphors are oceanic. My ultimate goal is to live in the deep wide, but this year I will look for the narrow part for whatever strait, river, or ocean current feeds into that goal.

Retrench

To have the time, space, and money for the life I want, retrenching is necessary. To retrench is to cut down, reduce, curtail, protect, cut off, remove, economize. A counterculture response to pressure doesn’t have to be reactionary and angry, it can be thoughtful and productive. To productively counter a culture requires a joyful sense of purpose, not a spirit of deprivation.

The Great Giveaway, my mindfulness exercise to rid myself of one thing a day, is a start. This time next year, I should have one refreshing list of 365 things I no longer possess. This activity isn’t housekeeping, it is life altering. When I throw away the pie weights and other baking tools, I let go of any pretension that I will ever bake again. I’ll say a prayer of thanks for parents who loved this activity and did it well. I’ll spend some time considering what might take the place of the loving act of offering up a plate of warm, spicy home baked cookies. I’d love your ideas on that one!

Redeem

To redeem is to clear by payment, buy back, or recover; to exchange for money or goods, to fulfill a pledge or promise, to make amends, to restore by paying a ransom. When I let go of what is no longer useful, I recover the space it took on a shelf or in my life, the time it took to manage, or the expense it required to maintain. When I exchange multiple technical solutions to a problem for one well thought out plan that works, I buy back greater control over the outcome.

My Bible verse this year comes from Ephesians 5: 15-21, “redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Many of us had a lousy 2015. Better than cursing the days is to redeem the time. It is “my bad” if I fail to use the gifts God has in-store.

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Discipline: The Struggle to Put Pen to Paper

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discipline for writersDiscipline your inner writer: A book list

A friend of mine has a lot to say but struggles to put pen to paper. Writing is a discipline in the deepest sense of the word.

The Free Dictionary defines discipline as “training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.” A writer’s discipline consists in part of developing habits that unleash creativity and hand it a pen. The goal is to hone our abilities through practice and become better people (and writers) for the exercise. I think of writing as a spiritual discipline because good writers learn to confront their demons to discover truth.

I promised my friend I would send him a short list of books for writers that have inspired, motivated, or educated me. Second thoughts (I think that may be the name of my muse) told me to share my list on my blog.

10 books that formed my writing

I’ve read many fine books on the art and craft of writing–these are samplings that have formed me as a writer.

  1. Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg, introduced me to flow writing.
  2. The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, opened my eyes to the creative process.
  3. Classics such as Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, John Gardner’s On Moral Fiction and Roger Rosenblatt’s Unless it Moves the Human Heart  gave me context for what I am trying to achieve with my writing.
  4. Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, by Stephen King, and Writing 21st Century Fiction, by Donald Maass, educated me on current elements of craft.
  5. Aspects of the Novel, by E. M. Forster delighted me with its lovely language and wicked wit, products of our literary past that I treasure.

In my search for book lists to share, I came across two lists that are not exhaustive but will get you started.
Essential Books for Writers
75 Books Every Writer Should Read

Every creative endeavor requires discipline

Perhaps you are not writer. I have friends who are stitchers, singers, artists, gardeners, crafters–all activities that are fired by creativity. Consider the discipline required to pick up your needle, music score, paint brush, gardening or crafting tools. What demons do you confront? Where do you find your courage? How have you become a better person because you practice your talents?

List the books that have inspired, motivated, or educated you over the years and you might see a revealing map of your quest, where it started and the second thoughts that made you the person you are today.

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Breathe: Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is like breathing

The breath of the Almighty gives me life. Job 33:4

Forgiveness is popping up everywhere as a tonic for what ails us. The healing power of forgiveness is touted in newspaper headlines and on websites. In such a provoking world, how do we develop the habit of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is like breathing. We breathe in acceptance and expel bitterness. Like breathing, forgiveness is a necessity. It is an action that must be repeated continuously with a rhythm of regularity. Acceptance does not mean approval. It is the inbreath we take when we acknowledge that a situation exists. A husband leaves. A worst-nightmare candidate gets elected to high office. Our world has changed.

Forgiveness, not a one-time occurrence

How long it takes to release bitterness on the out breath depends on the severity of the situation. The pain of our circumstance may cause us to lose our breath for a time, a reaction that disorients. But once we catch our breath and reestablish our rhythm, equilibrium returns.

Forgiveness is not a one-time occurrence. Some situations we accept in small sips. We don’t acquiesce, we build an understanding of the new order. At some point, we may take a deep breath, expel an accumulation of poison, and begin to focus on new possibilities. Breathing fresh air free of bitterness clears our minds and renews our energy.

Not all acts of forgiveness are in response to events that rock our world. Forgiveness can be a daily spiritual practice, a seconds-by-seconds act of grace that allow us to deal with petty irritations. The man in line in front of us is annoyingly slow.  Doesn’t he realize there is a line of people behind him? Breathe in. No, he doesn’t. He has dementia. Breathe out. You will be in line for awhile.

There are actually things we can do to improve the situation. If we relax our breathing and smile, we give permission to the store clerk to relax. The clerk will be less likely to make mistakes that cost even more time. Others in line may pick up the cue and leave the store feeling good about having exercised patience instead of wheeling out of the parking lot loaded for bear.

Forgiving people we fear may have delivered us a mortal wound, one that involves broken trust and dashed hopes, is never automatic. It needs more power than we can summon on our own. That forgiveness requires time and the power of healing prayer.

Give it time. Pray. And don’t forget to breathe.

photo credit: On The Third Day via photopin (license)

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Finding your best self: I just dropped in…

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Seeking my best self, “I Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In).” Remember that ditty? I had a flashback to the Sixties when writer and educator David Dark challenged those who, in their quest to be widely read and greatly admired, evade the hard work of discovery. He exhorted us to dig more deeply into our attention collection. “Have you experienced your experience yet?” he asked.

finding your best selfWe sat on uncomfortable chairs in the majestic chapel on the campus of Calvin College, light glinting off warm wood wall paneling, pens chasing furiously across notebook pages dense with run on sentences, the length of which were completely inadequate to capture the inner workings of the Dark mind.

Finding your best self is slow work

Dark suggested we take time to narrate our own lives, to listen for our voice in the stories others tell. In an I Heard the Owl Call My Name, moment, I heard my own voice reflected in “What’s It All About, Alfie” existential despair.

To prepare for the Festival of Faith and Writing, I was watching a small film, Something, Anything. Stretched out in 90 degree weather, in Arizona, on an overstuffed leather couch that squeaks, I emerged from a heated stupor when the main character Peggy popped the exact same question I had asked at her age, one I’d never heard anyone else voice before. What is the point of pouring your life out in menial labor to raise the next generation, only to have them turn around and do the very same, et cetera, and so on, and so forth? (My words not Peggy’s, but same concern.)finding your best self

Peggy’s question was prompted by the death of her dream that marriage and family would provide all the meaning she needed to make sense of her life. (I’m glad I didn’t wait for an answer to that question before I had my kids, or I wouldn’t have grandkids.)

In the film, Peggy raises other good questions that serve her well. She doesn’t see the point of managing stuff, so she begins a liturgy of divestment. In the process, she makes a happy discovery that is best framed by Dark’s companion question. “What patterns of avoidance exist in what you love?” Living a life of stuff management is a great way to avoid experiencing love.

Like all good preachers I have ever heard, let me repeat that.

Living a life of stuff management is a great way to avoid experiencing love.

“Open up the book of what happened.” Dark urged us. “We live in a world of hurry up and matter that can pull us away from our best self. The writer attends and serves ideas that come slowly. ”  Finding our best self is slow, painful work. It’s a call to more contemplation, more honesty with ourselves and others, more intimate conversations.

“Have the courage for self-discovery. Search for the truth about yourself that is too terrible to bear,” said memoirist Dani Shapiro. Shapiro has authored multiple memoirs, so apparently self-discovery is not only slow and painful, it’s an ongoing process.

So, that was my week. How was your week?

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Joy for the Journey: A bit of serendipity

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JoyJoy is a moment

Happiness is a state of being, but joy is a moment. We can work ourselves into a happy place, but joy is an unsolicited moment of grace, independent of the place we find ourselves, happy or sad. In the happy chances we call serendipity, joy might be a tiny seed buried in the moment.

Last week, I struggled with an email to someone I don’t know who wants to collaborate on a project. It seems we are at cross purposes. I looked for a way to sign off without offending. I chose the words Be Well.

What exactly does that mean? I Googled it. Google thought on the matter for awhile, and then came up with one entry by way of definition. It was a tweet from a Nigerian gospel singer–how random is that? The tweet said:

Your journey is too unique to take anyone’s word for it.
[I] set you free to follow your own path;
to find your purpose in God.  

Perfect! Captured the spirit of what I was trying to say. Intrigued, I Googled the tweeter, Femi Jacobs. If I was going to quote him, I wanted to make sure he was legit. He appears to be. His creds identify him as a film and TV actor, a speaker, and a singer. He was educated in mass communications and marketing management in Lagos, and trained as a pilot in South Africa.

I looked up a song he performs, Orun Si, and listened to it on You Tube. It provided a lovely interlude in my morning.

Maybe it wasn’t the universe answering my humble question. Maybe it was just an algorithm popping up the best shot it could make at a definition of a concept. But it gave me a lift to know that there are people out there who wish good things for others.

I wish you joy.

Be well.

 

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The Story God Tells: A Lenten Observation

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Woman at the Well

Jesus and the Samaritan Woman at the Well, ca. 1420, gold leaf, painting, etching on glass

My brain started buzzing when T.M. McNally used the Trinity as an illustration for story structure in a Lyrical Fiction writing seminar. In the creation story, he posited, Father is the subject, Son is the plot, and Holy Spirit is the metaphor. I am meditating on that.

It is a passion story filled with love and pain. He invites us to enter his story and experience his love and pain. To what purpose, we may ask. To know him and be known by him. For relationship.

The Holy Spirit is the essence of God’s story. Always present, never seen, the Spirit functions as a living, breathing metaphor. Through word and plot we may discover meaning. Through emblems such as symbols, signs, designs, or allegories we may discern an order and a plan.

In this great story, the outpouring of thought and feeling has the lyrical form and musical quality of song. The Biblical language offers beats, rhythm and structure. When we tell the story back to God through our writing, singing, art or craft, we worship.

Observing Lent

The season of Lent gives us an opportunity hone our heart, mind, and body connections by experience. Observance is a spiritual practice that strengthens faith. To that end, I have chosen 40 Days of Decrease: A Different Kind of Hunger. A Different Kind of Fast. by Alicia Britt Chole as my Lenten reading. The book focuses on “Jesus’ uncommon and uncomfortable call to abandon the world’s illusions, embrace His kingdom’s realities,and journey crossword and beyond.”

I feel as if I have stumbled upon a twofer. I can prepare my heart for Easter with a meaningful daily fast. And, I can balance the increased stress caused by present world conditions with a healthy decrease in engagement.

McNally wisely said in his seminar that signs don’t tell us where to go. Signs tell us to pause and think about where we are. Hitting the pause button once in awhile, be it in our speech or our striving, seems good. At the end of 40 days we can pick up our normal routines with renewed vigor or hit the reset button and try a new path.

If you are an observer, what have chosen to read and/or practice this Lenten season?

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The value of your passion project

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I write books to invite connections

What is the value of your passion project?  Endeavors you pour heart and soul into; tasks that eat up your time; a vocation that drains your physical and mental energy and robs your pocketbook; why do it?

Humans are creative beings, at their best when they pursue a purpose with passion.  Creative work satisfies an innate need. When we apply imagination to a project, we invite a soul connection to our Creator and make space for interaction with other people–a worthy purpose.

We all have talent, but passion drives our natural aptitude toward a creative experience. People who allow their passions to fire a particular ability often see their talent grow into a passion project. That might manifest as an enjoyable hobby, profitable business, or satisfying lifestyle.

Share your creative work

In our world, goodness seems in short supply. Sharing you passion project contributes to the common good. Do you knit, crochet, embroider, or quilt? You draw our eyes to order and beauty. How about painting or photography? Images inspire thoughts and emotions. Do you play an instrument or sing? You lift our spirits. Is your talent organization and leadership? You empower others. Perhaps you write. Done with integrity, you inform, educate, and entertain hearts and minds.

The world needs your gifts more than it needs your modesty, so be bold. Don’t hold back because you think your talent is small. The need is great. If you touch one heart, you serve the greater good. And with every connection you make, you enrich your own life.

This past week, meeting California’s Poet Laureate Dana Gioia enriched my life. That connection came about because I submitted my poem, The Warrior, A Tribute, to Manzanita Writers Press. I was privileged to see it printed in Out of the Fire: A Calaveras Anthology, complete with a lovely photographic illustration. That led to an invitation to attend Dana’s Calaveras County appearance and read my poem. And that led to an invitation to dine with the poet.

The dinner conversation was inspiring. Dana maintains that poetry has vanished as a cultural force in America. He advocates that poets leave the confines of academia and work to return poetry’s intellectual and spiritual influence to the public square. Spearheading this effort, he is on a stump through California’s 58 counties. Read his essay here.

Help preserve the arts

Rather than bemoan the lack of interest/support/funding of the arts, try hopping into the public arena and sharing the fruits of your labor. Look for ways to express your artsy, crafty soul in your profession, family, church, and civic life.

  • Begin a conversation. Talk about what you care about. Enthusiasm is infectious. It sparks interest and raises the energy level in a room. Heartfelt conversation fosters a genuine connection between two human souls.
  •  Display your work. Tell your story. Quilts tell stories about our past. When quilters display their work they keep an appreciation for cherished traditions alive. When they teach others how to piece and stitch, they ensure the artform will live on in future generations.
  • Support a variety of artistic expression. Most artists are not superstars. They are people with jobs and families, heartaches and health problems, low spirits, and self-doubts. When you buy a ticket, attend an event, applaud a performance, visit an exhibit, ask a question or give feedback, you become part of the process. Because art is a conversation. It requires engagement.

Community health and wellness

Much art is not a commercial success. And some of what is commercially successful struggles to remain art. But art plays a role that reaches beyond the marketplace. Art moves us to appreciation, compassion, understanding, laughter, and tears.

I am blessed to live in two communities. Living near metro Phoenix gives me access to opera, ballet, professional theater, symphony, modern dance, art galleries, and literary readings. These and many other activities lift my spirits. Equally, my life is enriched by the artistic achievements of my neighbors in the small mountain town of Groveland. Every note the Pine Cone Singers sing, every quilt my friends hang during the Quilt Stroll, every locally produced jewelry piece that circles a wrist or dangles from a neck-chain, every exchange between artist and aficionado strengthens the bonds of community life.

Nurture the artist within you. Hang out with the artists around you. It will do you heart good.

 

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Wildfire and Other Distractions

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The Detwiler wildfire has driven people in our neighboring communities from their homes, and it may come for us. Or not. First, let’s acknowledge that losing your home and livelihood (these are ranch lands) is devastating. For those of us on the sidelines, the disruption to our schedules irritates, but the unpredictability most unnerves us. When will it strike? Where will it go? How fast will it spread? How long will it choose to burn?

The Detwiler fire that threatened to eat up the historic town of Mariposa has now decided to bare its teeth at Groveland a week before we are supposed to visit family in Michigan to enjoy the Traverse City film festival. As seasoned mountain people, we know the drill. Gather necessities (meds, computers, clothes) and a few priceless treasures (art, jewelry, family photos). Arrange for pet care and prepare to go. In this case, we must decide whether to evacuate our stuff before we leave or take a chance.

Making peace with wildfire

A wildfire is not evil, it is a force of nature. A fire has a job to do. Fires clean up and restore the forest. It is we who have put ourselves in harm’s way. And we would do it again. I greatly admire the people I have met who understand this and do not take the disruption in their lives personally.

In truth, calamity often brings out the best in people. Kindness, compassion, prayerfulness, a can-do spirit, pulling together as a community–these attributes kick in despite how fractured our nation appears to be.

Catastrophe also reveals our weaknesses. Out of stubbornness or fear, some people refuse to leave their homes when the odds turn against them. Unknowingly, they endanger themselves as well as the firefighters and law enforcement trying to protect them.

 What I learned from the Rim fire 

  • You can’t game a fire. It has its own inscrutable agenda. Best to watch, wait, hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and leave when you are advised to by people tasked with keeping you safe.
  • Rumors run amok. Identify trusted sources of information and ignore all accounts that do not come from eyewitnesses.
  • Firefighting is fascinating science. That we learned a lot from the Rim fire is evident in how cooperating agencies are managing the Detwiler fire. It appears that decisions have been made more quickly and appropriate resources commissioned earlier. Although the fire tax is controversial, I consider it a charitable contribution toward equipping the agencies that save our property and our lives.

 Living in the forest

Knowing what we know, why are we still here? We ask ourselves that, and our kids challenge us on our choice to stay in the forest. When the sky turns urine yellow and sucks the oxygen from our lungs, we ask ourselves. But then the fire burns out and the skies clear. The sun glitters in the tree tops we view from our deck and the raptors soar gaily above our heads. A deer strolls up the hill trailed by spotted twin fauns. Wild turkey titter and peck and California quail pit-pit across our front yard.

It’s in my blood, these tender mountains of California. I can’t listen to California by the Kingston Trio without tearing up and reaching for a wine bottle. We have squandered our legacy but I must have been imprinted at birth by the beauty of the California coast, mountain ranges, and valleys, creativity, productivity, resilience, and hope. I don’t know a soul who has visited Yosemite and not been overcome by its majestic grandeur. Sheer beauty infuses us with the timeless nature of God, deep peace, and soaring joy.

The Warrior, A Tribute  

In the Rim fire, I saw the spirit of some ancient being. I’ve seen it in the eyes of buffalo, who survive despite historic ravaging. I’ve heard it in the stories of homesteading pioneers and tribal Indians, who both attacked and defended to preserve their ways of life. My poem, The Warrior, A Tribute,  was published by Manzanita Press in Out of the Fire, A Calaveras Anthology, a chronicle of the Butte fire that devastated mountain communities in Calaveras.

 

THE WARRIOR, A TRIBUTE

He jumps the canyon rim,

fist pumps the air, bellows belligerent smoke

and descends like a marauding tribe

to bully the dry forest

rooted and mute in his path.

We scamper from disturbed nests,

form columns, arm ourselves

with courage and technology.

He stomps through, keeps going.

His savage red face paints

across miles of sky.

Heart hot and black

pumped with stolen oxygen,

driven by a century-old hunger

he devours acres of brush,

picks his teeth with the tops of trees,

and pulls his dragon tail deftly

out of harm’s way.

We bring in reinforcements,

buzz his head, use our diplomacy,

invite him to go elsewhere.

He will go wherever he pleases.

His specter rises in clouds

open-mawed, empty-eyed,

an ancient soul named Legion.

He will go, but not before he has

scalped our forest,

seared our lungs,

and settled the score.

 

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